Sometimes I think that I played my life all wrong, now that I
understand what makes me happy I look back and see all that wasted
time but maybe I was never that person so many years ago. I am me now
and my younger self had different goals and desires. I have loved so
many things that my life has brought me that I should never complain
or regret my choices and as my life evolves then I should just enjoy
every new development, experience and relationship.
Sounds like a
load of psychological bull shit but let me assure you its written
with a hand on my heart, if you enjoy reading these new chapters of
my blog then that is great (and please let me know!) but its more
therapy for me, its my diary and my opportunity to express how I feel
and share my experience as I am unable to chat about such things in
my circle of work and day to day friends.
So what is new you
ask? Well in December my trips to Sweet Wednesdays (which I adore and
has given me such joy) went to another level. I don’t mean in a
sexual way but in a social way. I guess it was 2 things which rocked
my world and sent my head spinning, the first was the opportunity to
step outside of the walls of Central station and journey into the
city to a new location. A journey with friends and loyal companion
and in their company I could relax and let the fears of what might
happen just fade into a quiet buzz in the background of my life.
Travelling in the uber, walking to Retro then climbing the stairs to
be looked upon by new faces and seeing those faces and realising I
was not treated as unusual here, my difference makes me something
special to discover and enjoy, not something that should be shunned
or hidden away like a grotesque statue that nobody has any use for.
From the vibrant
walls of Retro and the sweet conversations of people who do not draw
lines between how we look or feel we travelled again, holding hands
and quiet words calmed my soul as I watched the city lights dance by
the windows of the cab. As we walked towards the place I had heard so
much about, my partner in crime was just about bursting with energy
and anticipation which made me excited yet worried that this new
experience would not be the same for me, we all have different tastes
but there is a joy gained from those around you enjoying themselves
and if she was this happy bringing me here, sharing her experience,
my only option would be to enjoy it!
And wow did I
enjoy it, I felt young, crazy and bewildered. My brain had trouble
processing everything around me, not helped by the various drinks we
had consumed, the music so loud that it echoed inside my head, the
lack of inhibitions in this environment just made me want to dance
like nobody cared – which they did not, all they wanted is that
everyone is happy. I love to people watch and this was a feast for
the eyes, as I danced I scanned the room and tried to work out all
the relationships between the couples, groups or solo attendees, my
brain just could not accommodate the variety and wild characters of
this club (Bombshells if you want to know). Such a happy and vibrant
collection of souls.
That leads me
onto the second event that changed my life in such a wonderful and
beautiful way and that will have to wait for the next instalment…..